If you’re an introvert chances are that you find parts of dating uncomfortable, probably because most of the advice you are getting is geared towards extroverted people, so in this article, here are some steps any introvert can use to become a better flirt, whether you’re a guy.
The first step is for those who don’t have anyone specific in mind, they’re still looking; the most common places are parties, bars, clubs, your workplace, social circle, and online dating. But in my perspective, those aren’t the best place to develop chemistry.
I suggest you go to an event or activity that you have a non-romantic interest in. if you go to a place where you have a genuine interest in, chances are you may develop a strong relationship with anyone you meet there. It may be a hobby, that both of you enjoy doing, for example, painting classes, piano lessons, salsa dancing, and so on and forth. Why this is good is because as an introvert, chances are that you may find it difficult developing small talks, and keeping the conversation going, but if you find a person at a place of where the two of you share a common interest, chances are that the conversation may not necessarily be boring because, they can discuss on the topic in which both of them share interest in.
Ok now, you’ve gotten the girl, and have started a normal conversation with her, but it doesn’t have to end there, time to get to know each other better and how do you do that?
ask open-ended question, since as an Introvert, you don’t know how to talk for a long time, the trick is to get the other person to do the talking, and asking open-ended question is a great way to do that, let’s say at a painting session you met a girl, and you ask her, “is this your first time” that would not be a better open-ending question. A better open-ending question would be like “what made you decide to start painting” by you asking that you have made the other person elucidate more on that topic, thereby making you say less, so use this trick, if you’re an introvert, always get people to say more about themselves and you saying less, and you can only do that by asking open-ending questions.
Now after you have asked them the question and they have elaborated more, this brings us to the next step, once they have elaborated you can relate,
Let’s say using the example above, about asking the question of why made her decide to start painting, maybe she responds like this “am here because I just finished my college and am bored staying at home, that why I decided to come and release some tension here and I’ve always loved painting”
Maybe that’s not your reason for been there, but you can relate to that value, so perhaps, you say, me too I just finished my college too and I also want to release tension too, the more open-ended question you ask, the more there is to relate to, follow this simple guideline and you can easily pull out of small talk and into deep conversations.
Now the next thing is that, you’ll want to get the person out into an area, where you guys can actually talk, because as an introvert you will not be comfortable with group conversations, because a place like that there’s a lot of noise and that’s not where you shine, so you have to take her to a place where, it’s more secluded and private, you can say something like this “ hey #name, am really enjoying this conversation would you mind if we step outside ?”
If you do that it shows leadership and it’s a way to make thing easier for you to connect.
Now you’ve arrived, you’ve had this conversation where you guys chatted privately, at some point, you’re going have to cross this bridge, from where two people who are talking, to guess what? Am interested in you, I like you and I will like to go on a date with you.
And this is the part where introvert might get wrong, because in an attempt to not get rejected or to be very polite, they tend to not want to put themselves out there so they but this sort of friendly activities that are easily misinterpreted and all of a sudden they feel like they’ve been friend zoned when really they’ve done it to themselves.
So the next step is to ask them out, and don’t worry I will show you a simple way to ask someone on a date, without been needy and with confidence, is by using this three steps,
The first is to acknowledge the social situation, or the awkwardness that might be there,
say what you think about them,
and invite them to something fun.
And it goes like this, hey, I know that we just met tonight, so this is a little strange, but I enjoyed dancing with you. Would you like to go out and get drinks sometime?.
When you do this you’re making you’re self clear that, you’re interested.
Even though it doesn’t work out, you’re not going to be in a creepy friend zone.
So there you guys, enjoy.